She’s where? When a complementarian looks for Mary.
I truly enjoy reading the Gospels in the New Testament over and over and over. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John show us the relationships of Jesus. We get an inside look at Jesus’ relationships in the communion of God, with Himself, with people, and with the stuff of earth. I am often challenged and I hope I am being formed by the Gospel and what is presented to us in Jesus’ relationships.
Jesus’ relationships with women are astonishing in respect to the norms and expectations of the day. Women themselves were surprised by Jesus (John 4). And sometimes the folks around Jesus, even women, were dismayed by Jesus’ inclusion of women in his rabbinic ministry.
Luke 10:38-42, NIV
38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”41 “Martha, Martha,”the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,42but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
The Scene
Can you imagine the moments before Martha made a scene? Perhaps she was busy with the preparations for the meal, giving instructions, and busily managing her household for this wonderful moment: Jesus, the rabbi, had come to their house again. It was a privilege to host him and his friends. But now, the internal schedule in her head was not being met. All hands are needed–and that’s when she noticed–Mary is missing. “Where’s Mary?” Someone tells her, “She’s sitting at the feet of Jesus.” Incredulously and in full outrage she asks again, “She’s where?” That’s how I imagine it.
But, back to the Scripture brought to us by God. In the mind of Martha, Mary was not where she was supposed to be. Mary, in Martha’s world, was supposed to be with her and attending to a different work, a different kind of service, and in a different place. So Martha does the most outrageous thing; she interrupts Jesus and tells him what to do with Mary. ““Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
A Common Experience
What Luke captures here for the friends of God is a common experience. When we start listening to Jesus and aligning our lives with Him and His Kingdom, some folks will feel that we have left them, that we have left the work that’s our obligation, and that we need to be put back in our place. I have a lot of empathy for Martha. It is shocking to have my expectations of other people blown out of the water when I have made plans for them. I have some empathy for the parent that is shocked that their son is following Jesus and has been baptized. I have some empathy for the lab partner that is outraged because their friend is no longer available on Sunday mornings because of Jesus. I have some empathy for the CEO that can’t believe their top recruit has taken a “lesser position” elsewhere because of Jesus. Folks feel left behind when people start being obedient to Jesus. It’s a thing!
But I suppose I am still trying to muster up some empathy for the followers of Jesus who are outraged when a women preaches the Word of God or humbly offers leadership to the church in the power of God’s Spirit. I’m still trying to find empathy for men who want to tell Jesus, “Tell the women to help me.” I’m trying to find some empathy. But, what seems obvious to me and to others in the room who have been at the feet of Jesus may not to be so obvious to them. But it does seem obvious to Jesus and perhaps we all need to hear Jesus’ words again:
“Martha, Martha,”the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,42but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Don’t interfere with Jesus.
To sit at the feet of a rabbi was to become the student and to enter into a kind of relationship of formation and participation. To sit at the feet of the rabbi-Jesus was a choice Mary had made in response to Jesus. And Jesus says it will not be taken away from her. Is Jesus indicating that anyone who seeks to take it away from her is interfering with Him? Is Jesus saying that Mary’s devotion to Him is not to be interfered with? Is Jesus suggesting that the outcome and trajectory of Mary’s life and ministry that is generated as His follower is not to be interfered with?
I believe, Yes, Yes, and Yes. Jesus is basically saying to Martha and to anyone who was listening to Him — leave Mary alone. She has chosen what is best. It will not be taken away from her. But Martha was a complementarian. She believed men and women had certain roles to fill. You wonder how I make this reading about Martha? Martha could have asked her brother Lazarus to help her, but she didn’t. Why was Martha looking for her sister at this moment of stress? Why? Because her cultural and familial setting gave her permission to designate and demand that Mary take up a proper role. It was unthinkable and inappropriate to Martha that Mary would make learning and being equipped by Jesus for His Kingdom assignments a priority when dinner preparations where pressing.
What does complementarianism do?
I find myself often asking after reading this exchange between Martha and Jesus about our situation today. “Is not complementarianism just another voice used to tell women who follow Jesus what their place in the world is?” The framework of many complementarians is that men and women are equal but that they have different roles. I find myself asking, does Jesus really construct His eternal Kingdom and our relationships in His Kingdom on the basis of gender based and assigned roles? There was nothing inherently wrong with Martha’s choice and response to the presence of Jesus. But when Martha wanted to impose her response to Jesus (the work of hospitality) as a demand and rule for Mary, as a role for Mary, she had crossed the line of Jesus’ rule and reign. She was interfering with Jesus.
In Real Life Today
The question of who gets to “sit at the feet of Jesus” is still current for us today. When my wife, Ellen, and I were at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (SWBTS) from 1990 – 1993 we were dating when we arrived. I was regularly shocked to hear from her that male students would confront her and express their belief that she had no good reason to be studying Greek and Hebrew. And then there was the matter of preaching. Why would she preach and why would she join them in the fellowship of preachers? After we married, one man even quizzed her incredulously, “You’re still here?” Yes, still here! As we were both pursuing a Master of Divinity with Biblical Languages the preacher boys had to deal with a woman who was an excellent student and a gifted minister of the Gospel. Some did. Some left. Some listened. Some received. But, even though she was confident of Jesus’ call on her life, the shadow of their dismay took a toll and still takes a toll today. I’m thankful for the grace Jesus has given her. But, please note that this shadow of death was cast on us before the BFM 2000 was adopted by the Southern Baptist Convention or even now by the Canadian National Baptist Convention. This shadow is old and it continues to cover gifted and called women. (Take for example all that has been thrown at Beth Moore since preaching on Sunday in a church in Texas in May.) But, this shade, I do not believe it is cast by Jesus.
I believe Jesus would tell us not to interfere with her or with Him.
So… where’s “Mary” in the congregation of Jesus today?
Are you interfering with her devotion and assignment from Jesus?
Are you interfering with Jesus?
