Change

The Cornerstone of Character

You memorized your favourite verses in Proverbs 3 because of the big decisions you were facing. But the good news is: there’s more to them than that! You are on the way to deep character formation!

The Book of Proverbs is a call to ordinary people who want to to live the good life. The Proverbs read quick and quippy. I tried to read them daily for at least three years of my university days, soaking up what I thought was God’s common sense.

Philosophers engage themselves with the question buried within the Proverbs: What is the good life? But typically our modern philosophers have fewer pithy sayings and many many more long sentences!

The writers of the Proverbs envision the good life as the pursuit of wisdom especially as it is expressed in relationships. They hold up the tension and the dangers of decision making for youth with regard to wanting everything quickly: fast wealth, fast pleasure, fast friendship, fast power.

Here wisdom is not neutral but is active in the world. Wisdom calls out to us and seeks to persuade us.

See, there is no agnosticism in the Proverbs. The vision of a good life proceeds from knowing God who has created the world and established a covenant with His people.

Wisdom proceeds from God but it is the character of a person expressed in life that reveals the cracks in their own character.

The Prelude to Your Favourite Verses

I have loved Chapter 3 for years. It holds a favourite set of verses quoted by myself and many of my friends:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on you own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV

But the prelude to these verses interests me deeply:

“My son do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity.

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet  of your heart.

Then you will win favour and a good name in the sight of God and man.” Proverbs 3:1-4, NIV

For the past year I’ve been watching the construction of Menno Hall at the corner of University Boulevard and Wesbrook with intense interest. When the hole was dug for the foundation I realized, “Here is earth that has not been observed in tens of thousands of years. Bedrock.”

What is going to be constructed above and in view of everyone requires going down, and down and down to what is not normally observable.

Likewise, what the Lord can construct in a person and through their life requires going down down down.

And there —  at the most vulnerable intersections of our lives — He wants love and faithfulness. The neck is in view of others but the heart is only in His view and your view.

Going Deep to The Heart

The “father’s instruction” in the Proverbs says, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” 

The neck moderates the life giving flow of our lives: what comes in and what goes out. Love and faithfulness creates openness to receive what is good and it generates generosity to give what is good. By contrast we could hang anger, anxiety, and angst around our necks; these will only serve to reinforce a character that is becoming more disordered, selfish, and deceptive.

So, the Proverb Giver goes deeper and deeper to the heart. 

The heart is the seat of our affections and will; yet, it is a tablet upon which we may write.

This is an extraordinary vision: at the foundation of our life, at the foundation of our character, we can have a say. We can begin to rewrite the fundamental character of our lives. 

But how? Aren’t those scripts set early in our childhood development? Are we hopelessly set because of the presence of or lack of good attachment? Are we doomed to be fools?

The Proverb Giver doesn’t think you are beyond hope. He seems to think you can do this wise thing:

“Write love and faithfulness on the tablet of your heart.”

But how shall we write on the tablet of our heart?

And here is where our favourite verse leads the answer to this question: ”Trust in the LORD with all your heart, in all your ways acknowledge Him…”

Begin with “trusting the LORD.” Take up the fundamental issue of attachment to God, by getting to know the covenant making God and trusting Him. Get to know God; He is full of love and faithfulness. Get to know Him by submitting your way to Him and then by watching Him lay out a path of life before you.

Continue writing by being humble. “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.” Proverbs 3:7

Keep on writing by being generous: “Honour the LORD with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops…” Proverbs 3:9

And, don’t stop writing love and faithfulness on your heart when things are difficult: “…Do not despise the LORD’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves.”

And just in case this pursuit of wisdom seems elusive like Eden’s tree of life, the Proverb Giver reminds us that “By wisdom the LORD laid the earth’s foundations…” Proverbs 3:18,19

Whoa! You are not engaged in the transformation of your foundations by yourself! It is God who helps you. It is God who created the foundations of all creation with a wise word, who can set (reset) your foundations too.

Peace, Prosperity, Rest

This “love and faithfulness” approach to life yields “peace and prosperity” Proverbs 3:2. This approach to life generates restful sleep even in a violent world:

“When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down your sleep will be sweet.” Proverbs 3:24

Does love and faithfulness toward God and people generate less worry? Does knowing your life is in the hands of the loving and faithful God generate peace?

Are you in search of the good life? “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the table of your heart.”

We write the story of our heart in our relationships. The Proverbs Giver knows this too. For continuing on in Chapter Three he takes up our relationships with neighbours. A heart of love and faithfulness is grown and proven in the nature of our neighbourliness.

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.”

“Do not say to your neighbour, ‘Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you’ — when you already have it with you.”

“Do not plot harm against your neighbour, who lives trustfully near you.”

“Do accuse anyone for no reason — when they have done you no harm.”

“Do not envy the violent or choose any of their ways.”

Wisdom from Heaven

The Apostle Paul would later write that all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in Christ (Colossians 2). James would urge the followers of Jesus to demonstrate wisdom from heaven (James 3). But first he knew that the disordered heart need God’s grace.

Jesus creates love and faithfulness. Jesus establishes His love and His faithfulness in our hearts by grace. This grace provides a regeneration of life, a resetting of our character’s foundation. Both love and faithfulness are a fruit of His Spirit in the life of His people (Galatians 5:21-22).

And, we participate with Jesus in this work. Our commitments with Him give the Spirit access to dig deep and re-form character.

Recently I’ve been thinking about the next 25 years of life with Jesus and in relationships. I surely want love and faithfulness to be set in the bedrock of my character more and more each day I live.

So, I am praying, asking God to keep on forming His own steady loving character in me too. Through prayer, through commitments, through relationships I’m writing on the tablet of my heart with Him.

What do you think? Are love and faithfulness meant to be the cornerstones of human character?

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases.” Lamentations 3:22

“I will sing of the LORD’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness know through all generations…. Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you. Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, LORD.” Psalm 89:1,14-15

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5

“My goal… is that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Colossians 2:2,3

New Year’s Resolutions or Not?

Want to find some emotion at your next party? Ask this:

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions are you a “Resounding Yes” or an “Emphatic No?”

I’m a “It depends.”  It depends on how you do it.

Over the years some commitments I have made in the first month of the year have brought wonderful improvement in my relationships and in my general sense of well-being. Other resolutions were forgotten by the second week.

I’ve tried New Year’s resolutions a lot of ways. Here’s the kind that don’t seem to last for me.

1. The List. A list of four habits, one for each significant are of my life that I hope to add in.
2. The Great Ambition. A goal for the year.
3. The Word for the Year. A word that I study and reflect on all year.

These have had varying degrees of impact on my life. Mostly limited.

But here’s what has worked the best. This is how I have arrived at resolutions that stick.

The Adjustment

About 20 years ago I had recurring back pain. I was in agony and wobbling around. Nothing I tried was making that sciatica better. 

A friend introduced me to a Registered Message Therapist. I was sceptical but hopeful. 

Wow! Patricia worked the geometry of the body. Sometimes I wondered, “Why is she working over there?” And when I asked, she said simply, “It’s connected.” Afterwards she would explain how that spot was connected to the pain I was having. 

At some point when I was doing much better Patricia said, “You are probably going to have to do these exercises for the rest of your life.” She taught them to me. And she tried to get me to pay attention to the signs in my body that demanded that I give it attention and do those stretches.

That’s the adjustment: Pay attention, anticipate the moves, then adjust.

I learned to pay attention to the signs AND anticipate making an adjustment.

One of the signs that a resolution may be in order is an internal sense of pain or dissatisfaction about an area of my life.  

Develop a Resolution Process

What I’m describing is a New Year’s resolution process.

I usually ask this question in the last and first weeks of the year. For me, I pray about this question and wait and listen. Some years there’s nothing new. In other years what I want becomes very clear because it’s connected to grander vision of my life and relationships.

Taking note of the “pain” I ask, 

“What do I hope is true about my life and relationships in the future and how is this pain connected to it?

Then I ask a series of questions:

What can I adjust in my behaviours to get there?
Who can help me get there?
What do I need to learn that will help me get there and keep me there?
What skill(s) do I need to acquire?
What kind of growth in my character or devotion may be required?
What routines or new behaviour could be added to my life to move this along?
What ques will I establish to prompt me daily?

At some point once I have identified the set of helpful behaviours, I will say to myself something like, “I’m the kind of person that ________________________.” By then I’m on the way to becoming that kind of person.

I’ve used variations of this process now many times. With the help of God, my wife, family, friends, the “new years resolutions” have become creations for a way of life. 

This process has been implemented for:

Connecting more deeply with God.
Flossing my teeth twice a day.
Becoming a vegan.
Dealing with debt.
Adapting my leadership with a team.
Making a significant change in my job.
Dealing with piles of laundry and dishes.
Establishing home workout routines.
Building a self-funded retirement account.
Learning to listen.
Adjusting my parenting as the children grow.

I’m a firm believer in small steps. I regularly remind myself: Never underestimate the accumulative affect of small steps in the right direction!

So what’s your approach to New Year’s Resolutions?

Prayer of the People, 26 June 2023

Prayer of the People, 25 June 2023

Heavenly Father,

You have been our help – an anchor through storms wrecking our souls. Thank you for calming the storm. Thank you for carrying us through the storm. And even when the storm was of our own making you have restored our souls and given us rest. 

When shame weighed us down you have lifted us up. You put a new song in our hearts and raised our chins from the depths. You invite us to gaze on your glory and goodness. 

Who is like you?

You took our place at the Cross through Jesus Christ and have graciously poured your Spirit into us so we may enjoy life with you now and forever. This new birth delivers us from the destruction wrought by Satan, from guilt, from shame, and from fear. Now you usher us into the  peace, righteousness and joy of your Kingdom.

Thank you.

Lord you have empowered us to be neighbours to those who need one. We turn our faces with you to consider our campus, our city, and the countries of our day — give us your heart for people.

Raise up students who love you and grant them courage and wisdom to speak up with you.
Raise up men and women who will lead with loving kindness in their fields of work.
Raise us up as a generation that will follow Jesus.

Even here — we know —  powers and principalities prop themselves up against the knowledge of You. They seek to destroy people by denying their dignity and their worth as bearers of your image. 

Today as we look at our world with you: 

We lift up the Uyghurs in NorthWest China; 
We lift up to you the many people displaced by violence in Syria and Ukraine.
We lift up to you the troubles our brothers & sisters in Iran are facing. 

Oh Lord, Come quickly — please orchestrate release for the captives, homes for the displaced, and enduring peace for neighbours.

Please give our leaders humility and the wisdom that comes from Heaven.
We pray today as Jesus taught us — ( Join me in the Lord’s Prayer)

Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one;

for yours is the kingdom,

and the power, and the glory, 

forever.  Amen.

When I’m Impatient for Growth

When I’m impatient for growth I’m likely to miss what is going on now.

This past week I was listening to a podcast on the Order of the Mustard Seed and was delighted to hear
Nina Schuurman Drenth from Canada talk about following Jesus and becoming comfortable with the space in-between from here to “there.” This is such a great line: “accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.”

She quoted Pierre Teilhard de Chardin’s poem Patient Trust and I was encouraged to keep trusting the Lord for transformation in my own life. I was also drawn to turn it into a prayer for so many of the people who are part of Origin Church. While it feels slow, as we surrender to Christ, we are daily being transformed to be like Jesus!

Here’s the poem.

Patient Trust

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.

And yet it is the law of all progress
that it is made by passing through some stages of instability—
and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually—let them grow,
let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give Our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.

—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ
excerpted from Hearts on Fire

Prayer of the People, 18 June 2023

Heavenly Father,

We enter into your communion — the communion of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit — through your amazing grace. Your Son has opened up the way for us through His own obedience, his own life and death, by laying down His own body. Now through his body we enter into the delights of relationship with you.

We know Christ Jesus came down. 

He came down from the throne. Praise you Lord.

He came down as a child. Praise you Lord.

He came down to the feet of sinners. Praise you Lord.

He came down to the cross. Praise you Lord.

He came down to the grave.    Praise you Lord.

Hallelujah. Death could not hold Him!

Oh Lord you lifted Him up and now though we are baptized into His death we are also baptized into His life. You have lifted us up with him. Though sin has brought us down, you have forgiven us and appointed us to your salvation.  Fill us with your new life and transform us through and through.

Lord we grieve for the many precious people who died off the shores of Greece this week as they sought refuge and a new life. Awaken the conscience of our world to the plight of many people on the journey for refuge. Renew our confidence in the abundance of your Creation.

Lord we pray for your peace in Metro Vancouver and particularly in the downtown Eastside of Vancouver. Recent fires and gun violence has set the community on edge. We ask for you to  intervene and to intercept the people who are intent on killing their so-called enemies. Bring justice and mercy to them for the glory of Jesus.

Lord we pray for Canada, where though we in Vancouver get lulled into the common gift of your rain, we know the rest of the ten provinces are in a drought. The fires are evidence of the dryness of the land. But what else is evident Lord? Perhaps the dryness of our souls? Come Lord Jesus and renew our hearts. Surely we do not need rain fires in our forests — we need your fresh fire in our hearts for you and your Kingdom.

So, we pray as Jesus teaches us: (Please join me in the Lord’s Prayer)

Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one;

for yours is the kingdom,

and the power, and the glory, 

forever.  Amen.