To be fair I should tell you what you don’t see in the picture.
What you don’t see in all my beautiful posts from yesterday is that on Sunday, 5 April, something in my soul cracked and my 12 year old told her mother “I’ve never seen daddy cry before.”
My body was wracked by gut-wrenching, breath-stealing sobs that would not be contained.
The dam broke.
I hate covid-19.
I hate the stress of wanting to do better and feeling woefully inadequate for everything that matters because of love:
husbanding-parenting-householding-pastoring-friending-broadcasting-distancing-togethering-financing-interneting-zooming-learning-teachering-homeschooling-discipling-tracking-the-church-that-has-scattered-to-the-four-corners of the globe-goodbying-grocery-shopping-without-getting-sick-and-dying-praying-staying-healthy-securing-the-broken-in-garage-from-more-thieves-teching-wondering-about-parents-who-are-isolating-planning-producing-content-leading-comforting-mobilizing-communicating-partnering-staying-on-mission-serving-my-neighbours-without-making-them-sick-empathizing-and-i’m-supposed-to-do-something-great-in-isolation-right?-comparing-and-knowing-i’m-not-supposed-to-AND-wanting-to-be-an-expert-but-the-only-thing-i’m-an-expert-at-is-being-me-and-i’m-not-doing-that-very-well-right-now-ing.
I’m already sick of all the gurus telling me how to do this. If I get another email from a church specialist telling me or even offering how to do better… Oh wait that’s all I’m getting these days — FROM EVERYBODY! How to do better.
I’m angry about that too.
Enough.
And yet there in the midst of my deluge of grief: hugs from my family; assurances—it’s ok we are all trying; Psalm 46:1 offered by the 12 year old; and “He Will See You Through” from Rhiannon Giddens album ‘There Is No Other’ with Francesco Turrisi. (Listen to it below)
This past Sunday was the second Sunday since our congregation got swept up in the storm called Covid-19. For two weeks now we have not gathered and that’s how it will be for the foreseeable future. I hate it.
I think I’m supposed to be excited about seeing you all online and connecting with you from a distance. But I’m grieving the loss of seeing you, just running into you on campus, gathering with you, seeing you in the city– and now of not even saying proper goodbyes. This storm has swept us up and scattered us across the globe.
I’m realizing that I can’t do this Journey Through John as if I’m just expositing the Word of God in a timeless vacuum. So, I’m going to write to my Dear Friends. That’s what you are to me. Yes I know I have served as a pastor to you under the guidance of Jesus our Great Shepherd. But even there I have sought to treat you as friends.
My salvation testimony has its “event” prompted by the Holy Spirit when my my Sunday School teacher, Molly McCracken read from John 15:12-17. Even at 9, and even still, I am astonished that Jesus would call me a friend. It’s what I wanted at 9 and it’s what I enjoy now.
As friends transformed by Jesus, I wish I was better at friendship with you and with Him. But I hope that’s the yearning of the Spirit in me for the communion of God and with His saints.
I am eternally grateful to Jesus for choosing me. I pray often that He would choose you and that you would receive Him fully. There is tension in life for the friends of Jesus.
I believe John the Apostle was deeply aware of these tensions: the desire to treat all as friends of Jesus being stretched by the desire of God to transform all people through friendship with Him, and the reality that some people even though they have been granted the grace of God’s dignity towards them will not change their minds about HIm. Thus John writes that although Jesus came to those He created (the world) and those He had formed as His own (Israel) they did not recognize Him or receive Him. Yet…
12Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
John 1:11-13, NIV
I’m so grateful for this super work of God. To be born of God, by His will and not my own. To be born as a friend of God when I’m not all that great at friendship — amazing! This friends is our lot in Christ: we have been born of Him through the Holy Spirit-activated-act of seeing Jesus for who He is, and receiving Him for who He is. This is the will of our Heavenly Father — that we would be born of His will, not just our families’ will, but of His will!
Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord Oh you friends of Jesus! Come all, come all and receive His friendship!
Let’s pray.
Heavenly Father,
Even in your family you would have us act as friends of Jesus. Even in this world you would have us treat all as if they could be a friend of Jesus — even our enemies. Thank you for the grace of recognizing and receiving Jesus. We have been born of your will, not our own, not of our families’ will, not of our parents’ will, nor of our nation’s will, but of your will. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! May our spiritual birth into a life with you be full of awe and new mercies.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
Our next reading will be: John 1:14-15
(Note to those receiving this as an email. Click through to my blog if you would like to view the reading as a video.)
Mike Mason has written one of the most powerful and reflective books on marriage: The Mystery of Marriage — As Iron Sharpens Iron. I love his way with language. He plunges into the depths seeking to give words to what happens when a man and a women marry. He writes that marriage is a crisis.
Is it any wonder if some people will do everything in their power to keep love away from them? For we know instinctively that love is like some violent revolutionary, head stuffed with wild dreams instead of brains, a dangerous idealist who would like nothing better than to grab hold of us and shake us right down to our boots, overthrowing all our old ideas and ambition, drastically renovating our hearts from the ground up, filling us with entirely new motives for living. To give into such a force, for one moment, is to be quite, quite swept away. Give love an inch and it will take our whole lives, and it will all happen like lightning, in the twinkling of an eye.
This is what makes marriage such a thrilling enterprise: that it has the power, much more than other more obviously disruptive forces, to change the entire course of a life. Some people go into marriage thinking that they will not have to change much, or perhaps only a little bit along lines that are perfectly foreseeable and within their control. Such people are in for a rough ride. When the terrifying and inexorable process of change sets in, they dig in their heels and refuse to budge, and the ensuing tug-of-war wreaks havoc in every department of their previously comfortable existence.
Marriage, even under the best of circumstances is a crisis–one of the major crisis of life–and it is a dangerous thing not be aware of this. Whether it turns out to be a healthy, challenging, and constructive crisis or a disastrous nightmare depends largely upon how willing the partners are to be changed, how malleable they are. Yet ironically, it is some of the most hardened and crusty and unlikely people in the world who plunge themselves into the arms of marriage and thereby submit in almost total naïveté to the two most transforming powers known to the human heart: the love of another person and the gracious love of God. So be prepared for change! Be prepared for the most sweeping and revolutionary reforms of a lifetime.
Recently I awkwardly interrupted a table conversation that I felt was rapidly deteriorating. Yeah, it was really awkward. After my “lesson” no one said anything, stared at me for a moment and then everyone changed the subject to other things all at once.
I’m sure no-one expected a pastor to talk about indigenous history and care of the land. Nor did they expect a call out on racism. It was really awkward. I’m probably not all that good at “splaining” silviculture as it was historically or is currently practiced by indigenous people or anyone else for that matter!
I shared a little of what I had been learning in regards to regenerative agriculture and specifically of indigenous silviculture practice on the West Coast. Knowledge has been suppressed by our disrespect and violence. There is long history of planting and pruning along a lengthy system of paths, maintaining forests along fields, and caring for the forest around homes. And then there’s localized firelighting, another aspect of silviculture and the relationship we can have in stewarding God’s Creation and living mutually with the land. The romantic vision held by some of a wild outdoors pristine and untouched by persons is really mythical. We all live with the land; we just have different postures toward it, some helpful and some destructive.
Early this morning I was delighted to read this fascinating article about the people living in California who are seeking to reintroduce local indigenous silviculture practices. Some believe it’s essential to turning local environments around in California. “When you have colonization removing native people, disrupting that social structure around fire use, outlawing fire, and then actively using every construct in a militaristic way to suppress and exclude fires, then we have the conditions that we have now,” said the research ecologist Frank Lake.
Each of the persons in the collage have been arrested. They have previously or are currently incarcerated.
Can you listen to a prisoner?
Can you open your heart to them?
When we read Ephesians we are reading a prison epistle. It’s a letter written by a prisoner. Paul didn’t want his audience to forget it.
When he enters the ethical dimension of discipleship with Jesus, Paul reminds the readers (listeners), “As a prisoner of the Lord, then, I urge you
to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”
Paul wants us to walk, to conduct ourselves, to live, in a manner worthy of our calling! This is a prisoner of the Lord talking!
Whenever we read “prisoner” we must not gloss over what is happening. Prisoner convey’s a social and political dimension to this person’s relationship with us and with a government. Paul insists that the word prisoner is also a reflection of his relationship with Jesus Christ.
In the Origin Church gathering Sunday I briefly introduced our congregation to four folks who have been prisoners in our consideration of Ephesians 4:1-6. Here are links for you to explore the lives of these four people further. And then some final reflections on Jesus the Prisoner and our unity with Him.
Pastor Wang Yi
“If I am imprisoned for a long or short period of time, if I can reduce the authorities fear of my faith and of my Savior, I am very joyfully willing to help them in this way.”
Pastor of Early Rain Covenant Church, Chengdu China, has been incarcerated since Dec 9 2018. His letter, “My Declaration of Faithful Disobedience” had been written in Sept of that year and held that it should be published if he was detained for more than 48 hours. Read Pastor Wang’s Declaration. Pray for Pastor Wang as he is still incarcerated.
John M. Perkins
“God used the black and white nurses and doctors at that hospital to wash my wounds. For me they were symbolic of the people who had beaten me. What they did healed more than just my broken body. It healed my heart… Oh how beautiful it would be if we could wash one another’s wounds from the evil of racism in the church!”
In Feb of 1970 John Perkins was headed to the jail of Brandon MS to post bail for civil-rights demonstrators. But before he could get into the building he has accosted by highway patrol officers who met him with their fists and dragged him to jail. During the night he was brutally tortured by officers, he survived but the trauma prompted a heart attack and then ulcers — a long recovery ensued. He still has physical consequences to this day. He writes in One Blood: “I’m just now seeing clearly that the black church can’t fix this and the white church can’t fix this. It must be the reconciled Church, black and white Christians together imaging Christ to the world.” Read More about John M. Perkins and his ministry journey with Jesus.
“We must relearn what it means to be a body and what it means to continue Christ’s ministry of preaching the gospel to the poor. I believe there is a strategy to do this. We have seen three principles work that seem to be at the heart of how a local body of Christians can affect their neighborhood. We call them the three Rs of the quiet revolution: relocation, reconciliation, and redistribution.” Read more about the three R’s.
Linda Barkman
“Hospitality means that I come to your table as a guest and I am always a guest. By contrast integration means that I come to your family as a guest and I become family. You’re not going to offer integration to prisoners unless you really believe in redemption — that Jesus died for every single person.”
The 2018 Valedictorian of the Fuller Theological Seminary’s School of Intercultural Studies had been imprisoned longer than most of her fellow students had been alive. At age 65 she had been in prison for 30 of those years. “Prison was my first pulpit.” Read more about Linda and her journey.
Reverend Chu Yiu-ming
“I am a Christian minister committed to the service of God. I have resolved to live a life of friendship with the weak and the poor, praying that God’s justice be manifested on earth as it is in heaven, and that the Gospel of love and peace be proclaimed among the people. But today, old and grey, I find myself in the Defendant’s dock, making a final plea as a convict. It looks absurd, if not outright shameful for a person holding holy office. And yet, at this very moment, my heart tells me that with this defendant’s dock I have found the most honourable pulpit of my ministerial career. The valley of the shadow of death leads to spiritual heights.”
Found guilty in 2019 of “public nuisance” for involvement in the 2014 pro-democracy protests — in Hong Kong. His sentence was commuted and he was sent home for reasons of his health. Read Reverend Chu’s full statement.
Jesus the Prisoner and our unity with Him.
As followers of Jesus we have in common Jesus as Lord, so Paul suggests that instead of fetters like chains we now share the bonds of peace. We are not captives yet we are captivated. We are not slaves, we are friends. We are not strangers, we are family. We share a common Lord; our peace was accomplished through the incarceration and execution of the Prince of Peace. The prophet Isaiah writes of Him: (Isaiah 53)
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. 3He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. 4Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. 5But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. 6We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. 7He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. 8By oppression (or arrest) and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished. 9He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth. 10Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. 11After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. 12Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
Oh, in the gaze of this crucified prisoner and risen Lord shall I not do all within my power to guard the unity of the Spirit? In the light of His grace shall I not humble myself? In the light of His meekness shall I not be patient with His friends? In the light of His long-suffering, shall I not be patient with others? In the light of His love shall I not put up with others in love? Following Jesus I will seek wisdom from heaven to know when to be close or to take leave, to speak up or to be quiet, to challenge or to wait.
Oh, by His grace, we will!
Note: Please follow the links to each article for the photo credits.
