When it comes to New Year’s resolutions are you a “Resounding Yes” or an “Emphatic No?”

I’m a “It depends.”  It depends on how you do it.

Over the years some commitments I have made in the first month of the year have brought wonderful improvement in my relationships and in my general sense of well-being. Other resolutions were forgotten by the second week.

I’ve tried New Year’s resolutions a lot of ways. Here’s the kind that don’t seem to last for me.

1. The List. A list of four habits, one for each significant are of my life that I hope to add in.
2. The Great Ambition. A goal for the year.
3. The Word for the Year. A word that I study and reflect on all year.

These have had varying degrees of impact on my life. Mostly limited.

But here’s what has worked the best. This is how I have arrived at resolutions that stick.

The Adjustment

About 20 years ago I had recurring back pain. I was in agony and wobbling around. Nothing I tried was making that sciatica better. 

A friend introduced me to a Registered Message Therapist. I was sceptical but hopeful. 

Wow! Patricia worked the geometry of the body. Sometimes I wondered, “Why is she working over there?” And when I asked, she said simply, “It’s connected.” Afterwards she would explain how that spot was connected to the pain I was having. 

At some point when I was doing much better Patricia said, “You are probably going to have to do these exercises for the rest of your life.” She taught them to me. And she tried to get me to pay attention to the signs in my body that demanded that I give it attention and do those stretches.

That’s the adjustment: Pay attention, anticipate the moves, then adjust.

I learned to pay attention to the signs AND anticipate making an adjustment.

One of the signs that a resolution may be in order is an internal sense of pain or dissatisfaction about an area of my life.  

Develop a Resolution Process

What I’m describing is a New Year’s resolution process.

I usually ask this question in the last and first weeks of the year. For me, I pray about this question and wait and listen. Some years there’s nothing new. In other years what I want becomes very clear because it’s connected to grander vision of my life and relationships.

Taking note of the “pain” I ask, 

“What do I hope is true about my life and relationships in the future and how is this pain connected to it?

Then I ask a series of questions:

What can I adjust in my behaviours to get there?
Who can help me get there?
What do I need to learn that will help me get there and keep me there?
What skill(s) do I need to acquire?
What kind of growth in my character or devotion may be required?
What routines or new behaviour could be added to my life to move this along?
What ques will I establish to prompt me daily?

At some point once I have identified the set of helpful behaviours, I will say to myself something like, “I’m the kind of person that ________________________.” By then I’m on the way to becoming that kind of person.

I’ve used variations of this process now many times. With the help of God, my wife, family, friends, the “new years resolutions” have become creations for a way of life. 

This process has been implemented for:

Connecting more deeply with God.
Flossing my teeth twice a day.
Becoming a vegan.
Dealing with debt.
Adapting my leadership with a team.
Making a significant change in my job.
Dealing with piles of laundry and dishes.
Establishing home workout routines.
Building a self-funded retirement account.
Learning to listen.
Adjusting my parenting as the children grow.

I’m a firm believer in small steps. I regularly remind myself: Never underestimate the accumulative affect of small steps in the right direction!

So what’s your approach to New Year’s Resolutions?

We began our evening together by rejoicing in the assignment of Jesus as the LORD’s Servant in Isaiah 49:1-7. The breadth of the LORD’s commission is astonishing. The Messiah says,

“And now the LORD speaks — the one who formed me in my mother’s womb to be his servant, who commissioned me to bring Israel back to him. The LORD has honoured me, and my God has given me strength. He says, ‘You will do more than restore the people of Israel to me. I will make you a light to the Gentiles and you will bring my salvation to the ends of the earth.'” Isaiah 49:5-6, NLT

He goes continues:

“The LORD, the Redeemer and Holy One of Israel, says to the one who is despised and rejected by the nations, to the one who is the servant of rulers: ‘Kings will stand at attention when you pass by. Princes will also blow low because of the LORD, th faithful one, the Holy One of Israel, who has chosen you.” Isaiah 49:7

Confident hope.

This quality characterized the life of Christ Jesus. Though facing rejection from family and His hometown, though serving under Roman rulers in Israel, He drew Israel to Himself, and became a light to the Gentiles. He will bring God’s salvation to the ends of the earth.

Confident hope.

Paul writes to the Gentile and Jewish followers of Jesus gathering in the house churches of Rome. He commends the servant life of Christ to them. He writes:

“We who are strong must be considerate of those who are sensitive about things like this. We must not just please ourselves. We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord.” Romans 15:1-2

Confident hope.

“For even Christ didn’t live to please himself. As the Scriptures say, ‘The insults of those who insult you, O God, have fallen on me.’ Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us. And the Scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled.” Romans 15:3-4

Confident hope.

“May God, who gives this patience and encouragement help you live in complete harmony with each other, as is fitting for followers of Christ Jesus. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 15:5-6

Confident hope.

“Therefore accept each other just as Christ accepted you so that God will be given glory. Remember that Christ came as a servant to the Jews to show that God is true to the promises he made to their ancestors. He also came so that the Gentiles might give glory to God for her mercies to them.” Romans 15:7-9

Confident hope.

Oh how we need confident hope today. Come Holy Spirit come. Come from our Heavenly Father and from the Lord Jesus who gave Himself in service to us. We trust you O God! Fill us with joy and peace. Fill your church with the harmony formed by your acceptance. The miracle of repentance is something we share no matter where we came from. And now by your power cause us to overflow with confident hope as we serve before those in our city and workplaces who might be like kings and queens and rulers of another kingdom. We need not worry about what to say. We need not worry about how to act. We have confident hope that you will grant us what is needed in every situation because we trust in you. And may your salvation come to the ends of the earth even as you raise up servants for yourself everywhere.